Kulula Airlines (South Africa)

Kulula Airlines announcements

From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port
Elizabeth.  To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and,
if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be
out in public unsupervised."

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."

A flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke,
the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light
'em, you can smoke 'em."

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one
small child, pick your favourite."

 "Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us
the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

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Время….

Мужик сидит, слушает радио.
— В Москве полночь, в Благовещенске 6 утра, во Владивостоке, Хабаровске, Южно-Сахалинске 7, в Магадане 8, в Петропавловске-Камчатском 9 часов.
Мужик сидит, сидит, потом встаёт, и с некоторым сожалением произносит:
— Эх, ну и бардак же у нас в стране!